


The Abyss

by Rroselavy



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-01
Updated: 2010-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-10 08:31:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/97703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rroselavy/pseuds/Rroselavy





	The Abyss

Sanzo woke with a start, his body bathed in a cold sweat. He'd been dreaming again, ~that dream~ the one where Goku's eyes stared up from below him, wide with fright, but also with a depth of love that he'd never imagined possible.

It was a recurring dream, one that had become as familiar to the monk as the back of his own hand, though each time he revisited the scene that always had him waking up, his oxygen-deprived lungs on fire, more details were revealed. In the dream, his hair was longer, much longer, and the sleeves he wore were white. Goku was much younger, or at least he appeared to be, and far more innocent. The golden eyes that locked with his violets were not those of the youkai he knew in this lifetime.

They were hanging in an abyss between a spiral of endless stone steps, and all around them a battle raged on. Actually, he was the one hanging, one wrist and hand wrapped around a chain, his other hand firmly gripping his charge.

"If you let me go, you'll be saved," Goku had said.

In the dream, Sanzo knew there was a veracity to those words that spoke far beyond the situation they were in, but in the split second that he made his decision to hold on, he'd known one thing, no matter what happened to them, he'd would never be able to do that.

_I can never let you go._

Had it been a thought, or had he actually uttered those words? He reached for his smokes and fumbled for his lighter, then lit a cigarette and pondered the new clues that he'd been able to glean from this latest version. He'd recently come to believe that this wasn't just a dream, it was a window into some past, shared experience, and this time, he'd sensed the presence of Hakkai and Gojyo; they'd been somewhere above them, fending off an enemy who had sought to ... what?

_To kill the child._

The answer came to him suddenly and he exhaled sharply, a tightening fist clamping around his heart, causing a dull ache in his chest. But Goku hadn't died, ~ever~. That much Sanzo knew. Instead he'd been banished to his lonely prison to spend an eternity, waiting for the blond—his sun—to return to him, to set him free. Sanzo wondered how many turns of the wheel he'd endured, dying only to be born anew, into a world where Goku had sat patiently and waited for him, alone.

Sanzo slid his legs out from under covers, his bare feet slapping down on the worn floorboards of the rundown inn where they were staying overnight. It was a moonless night, but there was enough ambient light from the corridor for him to make out the outline of the door to his room. He slipped into his jeans and pulled them on, the need to talk to the saru far outstripping the unreasonableness of the hour. He was sure Goku would protest being awakened, but what he had to say couldn't wait. If he delayed, he would lose his will.

He banged at his neighbor's door for a while before Goku opened it, the sleepiness draining from his face when the teen saw who had awakened him.

"Sanzo? Is everything okay?" those same eyes widened, alerting to the monk's demeanor.

"Yes—"

"Then what the hell—" Goku groused, moving to close the door.

"Look, monkey," he grit, his teeth clenching, "I have something to say to you. It's important." He stepped into the frame, preventing the door from swinging closed.

Goku glared at him and a small smile broke on Sanzo's lips. _I could never let you go_. The thought rang clear in his head, and it no longer frightened him.

"I want you to know, that no matter what, I'll always find you."

He watched as the expression on Goku's face softened and then grew bright with understanding. "I know that, Sanzo, now can I go back to sleep?"


End file.
